Directions: Respond to the following prompt and/or someone else's reponse. Your response must be thoughtful with good reasoning and at least 150 words in length. Sign using your first initial, last initial, and NUMBER in the class, for example: JS17.
Prompt: What are the qualities of a good marriage?
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32 comments:
The qualities of a marriage are patience and kindess. I feel a marriage should have these qualities because patience and kindness and the two traits of love. With these two, their is no love. Without love their is no marriage. No other trait but love can help a marriage sustain itself. If you are married and do not love your spouse, then you are merely married to them in flesh, and they do not have all of your love.
In order to maintain a successful marriage, there must be mutual respect and trust. In "A Doll's House," Nora does not recieve the respect she feels she deserves, as she feels she is treated like a possession of Torvald's. In exchange, the trust is broken between the couple as Nora lies about eating macaroons because she feels Torvald's dictation over her life exhibits a lack of respect on his part.
A relationship must contain both respect and trust to function. The loss of one of these quickly leads to the loss of the other. If one party doesn't feel respected, the party is likely not to respect the other. Similarly, if one doesn't trust the other, they are likely to betray the other's trust. The two traits go hand in hand, or the couple doesn't.
-IH1
A marraige should not be a struggle most of the time. Everyone has disagreements, but a successful marriage continues through the rough spots. Love is obviously needed, continuous love no matter what.
A marriage should have balance and trust. In "A Doll's House" Nora is not given trust and Torvald places too much emphasis on physical appearance. By doing this, he puts strains in their relationship. Though Nora and Torvald's marraige seems successful, it is not. Dr. Rank is in love with Nora. A third party, much less a best friend, should not love one of the spouses in a marriage.
Once trust, love, and balances are in place, a marriage will beA marriage should not be a struggle most of the time. Everyone has disagreements, but a successful marriage continues through the rough spots. Love is obviously needed, continuous love no matter what.
A marriage should have balance and trust. In "A Doll's House" Nora is not given trust and Torvald places too much emphasis on physical appearance. By doing this, he puts strains in their relationship. Though Nora and Torvald's marriage seems successful, it is not. Dr. Rank is in love with Nora. A third party, much less a best friend, should not love one of the spouses in a marriage.
Once trust, love, and balances are in place, a marriage will be successful. successful.
Marriage is two people living together in peace. These two should show affection and love towards each other in order to have a good marriage. The test that shows the quality of the marriage is happiness. Everyone should be able to have a pursuit of happiness and try their best to be happy. If someone in the relationship is suffering or unhappy the relationship is failing. In order to have a good marriage, both people must be happy and love their partner. In order for any relationship to work, love must be shared. People marry for money or greed, but this is not love. Love must be present for the marriage to be good and successful. Each person must cherish the other and be devoted to them. Also, trust is a big part of marriages. Each partner must trust and respect the other. This is not the case in A Doll’s House. Feelings and emotions should tower over physical appearance. Love is within the body.
DP12
A few elements and good marriage should contain are respect, forgiveness and friendship. Mutual respect between two partners in a marriage is pretty much the key piece to a marriage that makes it work. If you look at your partner in a condescending way or if you physically or verbally abuse them there is no way the relationship can work. If you think more highly of yourself than your partner the person being looked down upon does not have equal parts in the relationship. There is a difference between a marriage that stays together and a good marriage and I think that the former may be achieved without these elements, but the latter not so much. There must be some form of forgiveness in a relationship because without it one small mistake could escalate into something that breaks apart the marriage. Friendship is definitely an overlooked quality that is needed in a good marriage. To live with someone the rest of your life you need to actually like them. Not just “love” them.
LM8
There is no exact recipe for a successful or "good" marriage because everyone values different qualities. Personally, my spouse must be like a best friend, someone who I can talk to, have fun with, but also at the end of the day I know that he has my best interest in mind. A lasting marriage needs love; the feeling that even after years of being together you still enjoy his company. You do not always have to be happy and seemingly perfect, because without disagreements a marriage is not real. Married people should be able to feel comfortable voicing his/her opinions, knowing that the spouse will respect that opinion and at least know how the other feels. A marriage takes work and unless both individuals are willing to spend the time to make it work, a marriage can never last.
SM7
I think two important qualities of a marriage areis respect and communication. In accordance to the "Doll House", Torvald does not show respect to Nora since he treats her like a trophy wife, an object that Torvald owns. Of course, Nora feels resentment towards Torvald treating her like a second class citizen. She definitely does not feel love to Torvald when her husband doesn't respect her. Love is what I feel marriage should be about.
Communication wise, since Nora feels Torvald does not care about her opinion,she does not share her opinions with him, instead she lies to him. This is shown when she eats delectable desserts and keeps it secret from Torvald when he asks her. The communication is as drained as an empty glass of soda. For when you truly love someone, you give them respect and with that respect comes the importance of communicating and valuing what the other person in the relationship has to say. Only then can the empty glass of soda be overflowing with Pepsi.
-CM10
I feel that there are many qualities of a good marriage. I feel that the main qualities would be trust and compatibility. Usually, people that have strong marriages have these traits. The lack of trust would eat away at the binding of love in a marriage. Also, compatibility is what keeps things running smoothly. If nothing else seems to be exciting in a marriage, the couple can always fall back on how compatible they are with one another. They could be both interested in the same activities or be characterized both as extroverted or introverted. Usually people who engage in similar things or feel the same about certain things will have a stronger relationship. Trust and honesty also parallel each other and these aspects work together to strengthen a marriage therefore making it a “good marriage.” If trust lacks in a marriage do the two people really love each other? It is usually just another “bad marriage” that is soon to go down the drain.
PI3
There are many qualities to consider in a marriage. But there should be a balance of trust and love. Obivously ther should be a lot of love because if one marries someone you do not love it always ends up bad.In " A Dolls Hosue," Nora shows that she loves her husband. Her story about her saving Torvald's life proved she loved him. Thus, love is not a problem in that relationship. Trust is also another key aspect in a marriage, because one cannot keep secrets from their spouse. It will tear at ones concience until the walls come tumbling down. In " A Dolls House," Nora is keeping a big secret from Trovald and perhaps on the beginning it was unconfortable to handle but as the years past it did not seem that big anymore. Even though she was reminded each time she had to pay off the debt. It also became obvious that trust was on a thin line with Nora an Torvald because Torvald asked her if she had been eating any sweets and Nora just coming back from the store bought some cookies and ate one. She replied no. That caught my eye when I first read the play.
Overall, I felt that love and trust should be main ojectives for marriage because without both it can end terribly in the realtionship. HJ4
Marriage is maintained through a relationship with love and the utmost trust. If spouses can not trust each other then the marriage will end quickly. Trust is essential in any kind of relationship, and especially with marriage. I believe in being truthful to those you love no matter how gruesome the truth may be. In A Dolls House Nora and her husband have trust but Nora is withholding certain financial information from her husband. Finances are something that can be problems in marriage. I believe that these things should be dealt with but should not get in the way of the marriage. Marriage is the union of two souls. In order to maintain a successful marriage, spouses must act as yin and yang, two parts of a whole. Without love and trust this is impossible to maintain. Even as a mere teenager I know that marriage is no walk in the park.
MS13
Marriage itself, in the word and the context is what we make of it. However the concept of marriage, a union of souls and physicals, is a very complex and personal thing. Marriage, in its pure and un-molested form contains love, this is true. But on top of that it contains respect, honor, dignity and most of all, understanding. A union without understanding is an oxymoronic cliche; a simple whim of emotions. In a perfect marriage, the two beings, no matter thier race, creed or sexual preference, can feel and feed off of the other's good and bad energies, or characteristics. This can be shown through humor, hobbies, or even stimulating conversations around the dinner table. This thing we call marriage has no bounderies and is not defined by race creed or sexual preference. Love is love, no matter what catagories it is put in by us humble mortals. We are silly to think that the state or any religious entity can, in a right mind, limit the display of this love, an emotion.
What strives a successful marriage can be many different thigns. That is what makes people, and couples unique. One character trait that I truely believe in is Trust. Trust is what keeps a marrage going strong, long, and joyful.
If a marriage is a struggle because of money or untrustfulness, or for any other reason, then their love is not as strong and may never be as strong agian as if they first met. Marriage is not about money, or how the couple lives. It is about how they fell for each other. To be able to wake up every moring and see the one and only person that fells the same way you do for them.
One wrote about kindness in love, and said if there is no kindness in marriage than you can not have a marriage. I do not belive in this, because you can be kind to your neighbor but not love him or her. But what i believe this person is saying, is that marriage should not be hurtful, they should not hurt one another. Beacuse that is not love.
One of the most crucial elements in a good marriage is dedication. People who are in love should dedicate themselves to one another. Nora Helmer in the play, "A Doll's House" portrays this quality excellently. She sacrifices herself and her time in order to come up with the money to save Torvald's life. This is just one example of the attribute of dedication.
Another form of dedication is loyalty. Loyalty is standing by someone's side through the thick and thin no matter what the situation is. Being there to comfort someone is one of the most powerful actions one can take. It shows a deeper level of committment, trust, and love. Without loyalty, husband and wife can stray away from one another towards other individuals. This is one of the very worst things a couple can go through and it would never happen if all partners shared an underlying feeling of loyalty.
A good marriage consists of many different aspects that are all necessary for harmony and balance within the relationship. Two of the most aspects are loyalty and dedication.
-EM8
Wow! I am really impressed with the wisdom of our youth! I didn't require reading the play beforehand, but I like to see the specific examples many of you have taken from the text in your writing. Well done. Really, this exercise is supposed to be to get you thinking about relationships before you start to read so that you have some thematic connections to the work already in your heads. I am enjoying ALL your comments thoroughly! I'm also fascinated by seeing what time you do your homework....
A few reminders:
1. "There" is not the same as "their." "Their" is possessive. Make sure you use the word you mean.
2. A Doll's House is the title of the play, not "The" Doll's House. Italicizing does not seem to be an option in this program (which makes me nuts every time I type the title!?!), so just leave the title without any denotations rather than putting it in quotation marks. If you put it into quotations marks, then it seems that you don't realize that plays are italicized.
3. Please remember to put your intials and the number that you are in the class--for example, when I say "write your name and your number," that's the number I would like for you to put after your intials.
4. "Receive" is one of those words where the "e" comes before the "i"--remember "'I' before 'e'except after 'c'."
5. Do NOT use "you" or "I"!! Only I get to do that when I'm writing in response to you all as a class. :)
6. Remember: you need about 150 words.
Keep up the good work!
The Slussinator
The most important qualities of a good marriage are understanding, caring, and passion. Understanding is such a huge part and in comes into play in almost any and every conversation a husband and wife have. There will almost always be a day when one says something the wrong way or something comes out wrong. That is a perfect example of understanding when the partner undersatnds what the other is saying instead of reacting immediately and possibly too quickly from it. Caring is another huge part of a good marriage. After all, how a relationship out of love sustain without the knowledge that one's partner will always be there for them. Everyone does have a bad day, and to be able to have a special somone who can make almost anything seem better, it truly is a feeling that you treasure each day. And of course, passion. To put it simply, to have the feeling where it is your heart that is taken over by something instead of your brain...to allow your heart to lead you and not your brain is just one the besat feelings in the world. And to know and understand that someone else's passion is leading them to you is almost more than you comprehend. These truly at least huge parts of a good strong marriage.
The most important qualities of a good marriage are understanding, caring, and passion. Understanding is such a huge part and in comes into play in almost any and every conversation a husband and wife have. There will almost always be a day when one says something the wrong way or something comes out wrong. That is a perfect example of understanding when the partner undersatnds what the other is saying instead of reacting immediately and possibly too quickly from it. Caring is another huge part of a good marriage. After all, how a relationship out of love sustain without the knowledge that one's partner will always be there for them. Everyone does have a bad day, and to be able to have a special somone who can make almost anything seem better, it truly is a feeling that you treasure each day. And of course, passion. To put it simply, to have the feeling where it is your heart that is taken over by something instead of your brain...to allow your heart to lead you and not your brain is just one the besat feelings in the world. And to know and understand that someone else's passion is leading them to you is almost more than you comprehend. These truly at least huge parts of a good strong marriage.
PO11
........HI MS. SLUSSER!!!!!!!
A stable marriage starts not from love but from friendship. Love is something that is the fruit of the labor from two beings learning more about each other and becoming a single unit. Friendship is the trust and bond between two people where they mutually agree that each of them shares something that the other is interested in, which is the foundation of love which is the catalyst to marriage. As Mrs. Slusser stated in class at a latter time, she has friends who have been set up in arrainged marriages. Mrs. Slusser also stated that people in arranged marriages tend to stay together longer than people who choose who they want to marry. In all cases in arrainged marriages, the two people may not know each other; also just to throw it in there, lets say these two people find each other to be extremely unatractive which cancles out the lust. When these two people finnally marry, will trust and dedication bring them together? Through past defenses of the answer "yes" to this question, it is perfectly agreeable that these two traits could bring these people together, yet what brought this trust and dedication? Friendship does not have to be the average everyday friend that says hi to you in the hallway. Friendship can be that kid in the lunch room who you take a moment out of your day just to smile to him to have him smile back, to show him that you recognize that he is atleast a small part of your life. This kid can trust that you know that he exists. This example shows how trust is the fruit of even minor friendship. Dedication in many marriages is the striving of two people to reach a goal together and persistance through the relationship. Through this you must have a mutual understanding of one another and to listen to one another. Another example of friendship. the basis and quality of marriage is friendship.
Qualities of a good marriage come form within the marriage. Like the saying life is what you make it, well marriage is the same way. Some major qualities of a good marriage are true love, trust and loyalty. Anyone can have a marriage but not everyone can have a working perfect relationships. You have to have mistakes in relationships to learn form just like anything else. In an marriage there should be no secrets involved in the relationship because if you have a secret that means you cant trust them to no your secret meaning there is no trust in the relationship. You would also need to have love there should be no hatred going on there is no way you can be committed to someone you hate and live with them every day. You need patience and instruction to e there some kind of guide to lead you through it.
Having a strong bond of LOVE is basically the key ingredient to a good marriage. If you truly love someone then there will be no disloyalty, there will be more patience and the willingness to solve arguements. Also financial issues are most commonly a "down-bringer" in a marriage, and if your love is so strong then no matter how big the problem is you and ur spouse will try or end up working it out.
Having a strong bond of LOVE is so important that even when your signifigant other says something sooo hurtful, you end up forgiving him/her. (from experience)/
Now speaking of arranged-marriages, most of them 'work' because they "work it out". They get along, and however they probablly are not strongly in love. Even though a person's marriage (arranged marriage) is stable, it doesn't matter, there is a 50% chance of falling apart later in the years. But by having that key ingredient of great love, will prevent that.
A person may not be deeply in LOVE with their spouse, (and still solve many of the arguements a couple may have) but it would most certainly be ALOT esier if they loved each other truly.
Anonymous,
Qualities of a good marriage include respect, friendship, and trust. A marriage is more than just two people spending the rest of their lives together. It requires commitment from both sides to make a marriage work. Both spouses should respect each other and be there whenever one of them needs help. The respect for what each other believes even if the views are different. Couples should be friends even before they get married. This friendship should last through the bad times and the good times. As friends, the couple will have a special understanding of each other when no one else may understand. Friends depend on each other and a marriage depends on this friendship to be able to last. Trust is also a key quality for both couples to have. Not only in their marriage but trust needs to be in each other at the utmost level. Distrust from one or the other can lead to many problems and an unhealthy relationship. These qualities are not the only ones needed in a marriage. These qualities build the love between the couple and are what make a marriage last.
LD3
A good marriage is one in which both people are bound together by love and induring faith. They must agree with each other with some basic beliefs, unless they both understand and accept their differences. There must be respect, but forgiveness is one of the most important qualities. Everyone messes up sometimes, and spouses have to be able to forgive each other small mistakes. That does not mean they should stupidly overlook huge wrongs, just that they should not be torn apart by every disagreement.
(Mrs. Slusser, I accidently responded to the earlier prompt, that is why I am late.)
-MM9
I don’t think that a good marriage comes from a website such as soulmate.com. A good includes some basic tenets: trust, compatibility, and some sort of attraction. Don’t get my wrong by attraction, I don’t mean marry someone because their “hot!”, but more so an attraction to ones’ sense of humor, kindness, etc. A good marriage also comes with sacrifices made on both sides in order to maintain respect.
It’s important for the two persons’ married to ask for help, and certainly be comfortable towards each other. As a counter-example in A Dolls’ House Nora seems to be walking on eggshells while she talks to Torvald and we recognize this by the foil relationship of Nora and Dr. Rank who seem to have reached a mutual comfort level.
Ultimately, you know it’s not a good marriage if the end result is taking advice from Dr. Phil….unless the solution is completely obvious
ET11
I think the qualities of a good marriage are much like that of the Scout Oath:
"A Scout[wife] is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courtious, kind, obiedent, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent."
All of those are good traits for anyone to posess, not just a wife or a scout. If I had to choose just a few though, I would definitely say trustworthy and loyal; they are not only keys to a good marriage, but to a good friendship as well.
because one of the posts is anonymous.....
the 20th post(--counting-- including ms. slusser's post and a random non-related post) is:
"ST10"
For a successful marriage both parties must mutually love and respect each other deeply. They need to truly love one another, and be best friends. With a respectful relationship they can try harder to understand each others point of view. With a true love it will be as though each time they see each other is the first, allowing them to never grow tired of being together, because if they grew tired of one another, then their marriage wouldn't be very pleasant. Last but not least a deep friendship, as of best friends it will allow them to simply enjoy one another's company, and to understand each other, after all, they wouldn't be best friends if they didn't really know each other's ins and outs.
-VED1
Marriage for me will be my best friend. I think it would be incredibly difficult to live with someone who I could not trust nor get along with. You do not ever really know someone until you have gotten to live with them [quote from a not-so-great movie, The Squid and the Whale] and I do not believe in love. I believe that all "love" is is friendship and physicality.
Which is why Nora's marriage does not work. She does not especially get along with her husband- she lies to him and takes things from him. I do not see this as happy or content.
I do not think that trust is really as big an issue as everyone before me has made it sound because people lie, and people will always lie. There is simply no getting around it. If one could find the way around the lies, a way to still get along and be "in love", then his/her marriage will succeed.
[I'm kind of a downer on relationships.]
Though I am posting this late, I do have the helpful benefit of having heard your comment about peace in class and I thought to start by responding to that. Peace is a state of being where the all is well, but though at first glance the word seems to describe little, peace in a relationship is undeniably essential.
Before I move on though, I must clarify what peace I am referring to. Peace is not simply a lack of conflict, or a relationship where no one ever finds anything to argue or complain about. The peace that I refer to is the product of all those other things that are necessary for a good relationship: trust, patience, respect, hope, love, and integrity in all things. It is an unspoken bond between two souls that no matter what, there is always that connection between them and things will always be well, so long as they have each other. It is a satisfaction with life that comes from having your heart bound to another so strongly that nothing can push you apart. This peace at mind, brought about by being with someone who so completes you that nothing is more important than protecting your bond with that other, pushes all other concerns you may have to become petty molehills both of you can cross together.
When you bind yourself to someone, they become a part of you just as you become a part of them. They should come before all else, always. Putting things before your mate pushes them away and makes it easier for things to get between you. If you care more about your new car than you do your mate who you have been married to for 14 years, even after so long your still hurting them by allowing distance to come between you. Lies fill the space; secrets and suspicion fill the growing void unless one or the other thinks to stop it.
Your mate should be your best friend I suppose, but I believe that a certain amount of intimacy is necessary as well. I have no real proof of that, and I am not referring to sex, but a simple hug can take an ordinary friendship and make a hundred times as close.
Art J.
Wups, last comment was from number 5
^.=.^ mybad
Art J.
Oh, and to put something in italics Mrs. Slusser, encase it in the two HTML tags
< i> *content* < / i>
only remove the spaces. it looks like this:
A Doll's House
Art J.
(MM9: I cannot post on the WW1 quote! Maybe it will be changed later today, but I won't have Internet access this afternoon, so I'm just going to post here.)
This quote means that one cannot do things for others unless one realizes who he/she is and who he/she wants to be. One cannot give to the world what she does not have. If all one has within herself is self-centered conceit and anger, that is the only thing she can give to the world. It reminds me of an allusion: “You will know them by their fruits.” If someone is hateful and self-centered, she cannot give love to others. An example: If a child is brought up by abusive parents who do not take care of him, the child only learns to be self-sufficient, untrusting, and hateful. He cannot give others love and respect because all he can communicate is his own aggression and desire to look out for “number one.” This quote can also apply to All Quiet on the Western Front. Most of the men fighting are just teenagers; they do not all know who they are and have not realized their full capacity. They cannot fight the war for some big cause that they do not know. However, they do know friendship, so they can fight for their comrades. Paul and his friends say that this is not their war because they know nothing about it; they are fighting for themselves and their friends. MM9.
Ahhh! This is way late! Sorrrrry.
The most important thing that is needed for a happy marriage is complete openness between the two people involved. They must know everything that is going on in each other's lives and be aware of each other's weaknesses. This way, they will be able to confide in each other and earn each other's trust. One thing that does not help a marriage is when an individual chooses to confide in someboday other than his or her spouse without this spouse's knowlege. This will only lead to tension, confusion, and dishonesty. Another reason why complete openness helps in a marriage is because it develops respect in the relationship. Through respect, the couple is able to work through each other's weaknesses and come to understand each other better. Without respect, this understanding cannot be achieved and the potential of improvement will become a weapon of contention. This weapon could scar the marriage permanately if the couple does not have the elements necessary for maintaining peace and happieness.
DL7
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